The Inn of Stormy Nights

Have you ever felt lost?

Have you ever felt like a year has gone by and nothing happened?

Or perhaps you feel like so much happened that you just want to shut off the world like you would a lightbulb?

Whatever you’re feeling – I’m here to welcome you in good company.

You’re not alone.

When I was 21, I thought I understood progress to be defined as driven motivation, hard-work, blood, sweat and forgetting to eat because accomplishing high grades and playing piano pieces perfectly was the only way to prove I mattered, was good enough and was successful.

Most of you have heard the story of my crash and burn.

What I don’t talk of as much is how, after the burnout year, I began quietly pushing against that ideal which had led to my burnout.

I still studied and got good grades (while finishing university) but I stopped playing piano, I stopped my excessive exercising of two hours every day, I stopped limiting what I ate, and I started getting involved in passions I had held secretly.

As if shouting about my geeky passions was defying this judgement I had about what the world expected of me.

So I joined geeky clubs and attended board game nights and comic conventions.

I marathoned Doctor Who with new friends and brought my geeky interests into my teaching.

I championed the importance of teaching creativity – not as an innate talent – but as a skill that could be learned.

I championed asking questions and following what felt joyfilled and fun over anything that made people think: “I should” or “I have to.”

I moved to the United Kingdom and for two years I said “yes!” to everything in the interest of spontaneous experience and the art of wandering.

I never planned much of anything. I simply let my feet take me wherever they would.

It led to a number of mistakes and missteps, but it taught me how to live free of this self-imposed expectation and self-judgement.

Progress was no longer defined as driven motivation, but by whether or not I’d gone exploring (and likely documented the quirky alley, shop, waste bin, or tree with my camera).

This art of wandering led me back to Canada where I landed a teaching job on Vancouver Island within two days of applying with a bubble of frenetic energy. I was not used to staying in one place, settling and being still.

But on the island, that’s exactly what began to happen as I dove into teaching English at a new high school with a view of the ocean, and found a basement suite right on the beach.

Ostensibly my dreams up to that point of having a solid teaching job, leaving me time to write, and living on the ocean had been fulfilled.

But I didn’t feel fulfilled.

I felt frustrated because I’d been wandering, then I figured my wandering days were done and I had to settle down like an adult.

Being an adult is honestly one of the most obtuse phrases I’ve ever heard.

It’s a unique state of being that varies from person to person, and changes year after year. It’s never the same any more than the seasons are.

Also, no adult has all the answers and I was starting to get frustrated that everyone looked to me like I had all the wisdom.

I was still getting over a 20+ years of self-imposed expectation and self-judgement.

I can freely admit I don’t have all the answers.

Yes, I channel all sorts of beings, and I’ve learned so much from them. I also happen to be a very good listener and observer, so I’ve learned a lot from other people and events.

But it doesn’t mean I know what is best, right and good for every person who comes asking for help.

May 2021 is when I stumbled on coaching through the Get Yourself Together Challenge.

It seemed like the answer to all my seeming woe.

It was something new I could explore, it would kick up the plateau I was on and as a bonus it was a field that is founded on the understanding that the client has all the answers they need, already within them.

It is the coach’s job to help the client uncover those answers.

So, did I find all the answers I needed?

Now that it’s December I celebrate my choices because they have brought me full circle.

But I’ve also learned that I’m always going to be seeking, exploring and wandering.

But instead of doing it from the place of: “structure and study is bad because it leads to burn-out,” I’m doing it from a place of: “locate the horizon, and walk toward it.”

I’ve found the place between working until burn-out, and wandering with no destination in mind at all.

To put this in more concrete terms, I invite you the read the poem below, by JRR Tolkien. I’ll explain what it has to do with my new mindset shortly.

I’ve been Aragorn, running from his bloodline as the heir of Isildur and lost king of Gondor – I’ve not wanted to stand in my power, own my space, my voice or that I can have more than what I dreamed up 10 years ago.

I’m taking up my own crown, that looks less like a queen or king, and more like an Innkeeper holding space for music, stories and the magic of spirit.

Finding joy in life has been a long journey for me and now I’m home. I know what joy is. I know what it looks like, where it comes from and how to create – for myself.

Joy is my middle ground and my happy place between rigid structure and wandering adventure.

The Inn of Stormy Nights is a place where I hope others can begin to discover what joy is for them and how to create it for themselves.

Whether that is through connecting with spirit in general, connecting with the faeries, divine feminine or tools like tarot cards – there is a place for you.

Whether that is through your existing creativity, or your desire to grow your creativity – through art, music, writing or the thousands of other arts out there – there is a place for you.

Whether that is through diving into your old stories, patterns and thoughts and relearning who you are – there is a place for you.

The Inn of Stormy Nights is a place that is always growing and changing – just like the Earth and its seasons, the moon and the tides, and you and me.

But some things are never gone: good cheer, a warm fire, company and companionship, adventure and stories galore.

So if you’re ready to bring in 2022 with a bell toll, a trumpet call, a yodel, a yawp or a giggle; know that wherever you are going, whatever you are doing, the Inn of Stormy Nights is always there.

Come in, to rest and warm-up between adventures.

In January, I’m coaching in the Get Yourself Together challenge. A week long challenge of 5 webinars, fun homework, a supportive community and an hour and a half of private coaching with me (or a coach of your choice).

It helped me bring my goal-oriented and wanderer selves together into a healthier, balanced and more powerful union.

Sign up here and get the support to get yourself together for $29 USD: rotf.lol/getyourselftogetherchallenge

If you would like to simply connect with me, 1 on 1, to unpack whatever has been holding you back, so you can take on 2022 as the person you’ve always wanted to be; I’m doing discovery calls from now and through January.

You can book one here: https://calendly.com/alyssaraereynolds/60min

May the wind be always at your back!

Innkeeper ARR